Really it’s us? We won? Wow, we could never have expected such an honour. Thank you… thank you so much, PETA. What? We need to make a speech? OK, here goes …
When we launched less than a year ago, we were making VFC in Adam’s restaurant kitchen, and selling it via our own website. We couldn’t make very much which was fine back then as we weren’t selling very much, but it was clear we needed to build a customer base fast. Thankfully, vegans know tasty food when they lick it, and those who tried VFC really loved it. They told their friends who placed an order, and they seemed to like it, too. With their support, we figured we were on to a winner, but you never really know, do you? We were so desperate for it to work. It had to work for them…
And so, we set out to expand as quickly as possible because we want to end factory farming as quickly as possible. Ideally, today. We kept the images of those poor birds in our minds as we found a manufacturer that could make huge quantities of VFC, and we took a suitcase of our wares door to door to win over the biggest retailers.
And it worked. Today, we stand in front of you, humbled. In a few days we will be on the shelves of 370 Tesco stores across the UK, and we are already selling in Spain, the Netherlands and the USA. This wonderful award from PETA, who know a thing or two about great vegan food, is the icing on our nuggets.
And you know what makes us especially proud? Last year, KFC won this very same award for its vegan chick*n, and if that isn’t a sign from some benevolent higher power, we don’t know what is. Across our social channels, you may have noticed, we follow just one account: KFC. We’ve always kept them in our sights because you’ve got to dream big, and if we can do what they do but without harming animals, wouldn’t the world be a kinder place?
And so, we’d like to thank PETA from the bottom of our hearts, also our miraculous cast and crew, our manufacturers, distributors, collaborators, taste testers, and drivers, the office dogs, our founders for their vision, our social media team for not quitting despite much provocation, the sales and marketing teams for not knowing what sleep is and still managing to get dressed most mornings, and of course our excellent speechwriter (available for hire).
We can see our allotted time is up, so we’ll just say this one last thing before we go: Thanks Colonel, you did your best, but you can step down now. The future is vegan. We’ll take it from here.
*cue uplifting music, a crescendo of applause and a standing ovation as VFC leaves the stage*