Why Are Animals made of Food?

Sergio, you crack us up. Really, man, you should be on the stage. The originality of your material, your no-nonsense delivery, and three whole question marks… you truly are spoiling us.

Seriously, though, you comedy legend, there are just a couple of things we’d like to raise about your comment. First, by your logic – and we hesitate to use that word in this instance – your dog, your cat, and your family could all be food. And since food is defined as any substance eaten, drunk or absorbed in order to maintain life and growth, this could include a whole range of things from cardboard to shampoo to soil. It could include the kidneys of koalas or the mucous membranes of meerkats. My dog eats cow poop, so that’s food. My brother ate his own bogeys, so that’s food, too.

And so, while we could eat bits of animals, poop or bogeys, we each have been gifted both a prefrontal cortex and a hippocampus to help with our decision-making. This means, if we don’t fancy getting sick, causing suffering, disproportionately adding to climate breakdown, contributing to the severe decline in wildlife, causing river pollution and ocean dead zones, or driving the emergence of antibiotic-resistant pathogens and the next global pandemic, we can choose not to eat meat but to try tasty plant-based chick*n instead.

It’s absolutely fine to keep eating poop and bogeys though, Sergio. We know you were wondering.

Join the rebellion

Be the first to hear about our plans, products and the date the revolution begins (shhh). We never spam because spam’s not vegan.