Our Teeth Say We’re Meat Eaters

Well, yes, we did think it was pretty simple, but then you came along with your Have-Teeth-Must-Bite-An-Animal logic and now we have to confess to feeling a little blindsided.

We have teeth to aid digestion, Chad. They break down all kinds of food to help our stomach acids really get to work on whatever it is we have stuffed down our gullets. Although we have molars for grinding down fibrous matter and sharper teeth for biting off pieces of fruit, veggies and other tasty things, we assume you’re thinking specifically of ‘canine teeth’, although why anyone would base their entire way of eating on one single cherry-picked part of our evolutionary anatomy is beyond us. Besides, you do realise that our own canines, named after the teeth in actual canines, look nothing like them? Go ahead Fido, take a look in the mirror.

And while we’re talking anatomy, have you ever noted that human guts are long like those of herbivores, not short like those belonging to carnivores? Intriguing hey? When we feed our long guts a herbivorous diet, it often leads to better digestion, less constipation and fewer bowel troubles generally. It’s as if plant foods really help take care of the gut, and its incredibly important microbiome. Perhaps this even has something to do with processed meat causing colorectal cancer. I don’t know, I mean, scientists at the World Health Organization tell us one thing; Chad from Facebook with his one-tooth speciality says another. It’s so hard to know who to believe.

But really, even if, once upon a time, our canines were much bigger and pointier, and used for ripping flesh off a wild beast who we had hunted down, that doesn’t mean we need them nowadays to manage a soft processed bit of meat from a sickly factory farmed animal that you bought in a plastic container from your local store.

Things change, Chad. There are bits of our bodies that no longer serve any purpose at all, such as the muscles that control our ear movement and the coccyx, which is the remnant of a lost tail. Since we stopped listening out for blundering cluckwits and swinging through trees to evade them, we just have less use for them.

We do have to say, though, that we admire your dogged determination. So what if eating meat makes you more likely to suffer from heart disease, hypertension, type 2 diabetes and colorectal cancer, by Jiminy, you’re going to turn your back on science and place your faith in a misnamed tooth. Stuff the consequences. That’s the spirit Chad. In fact, that’s Darwinism in action.

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